The Defiance Decoder
How to Catch the Early Signals Before Behavior Escalates
I help parents move from power struggles to partnership by understanding what’s actually getting in the way for their child. This guide is one small way to help you start catching the whisper before the shout.
Your Free Gift!
If your child seems to go from “totally fine” to explosive in seconds, you’re not alone.
The truth is: the nervous system usually whispers before it shouts.
What adults often experience as defiance, refusal, aggression, avoidance, or manipulation are often late signs of overwhelm, lack of capacity, or a need for safety.
The good news? There are usually earlier signals.
This free guide will help you:
- identify your child’s earliest verbal and nonverbal signs of distress
- decode what “defiance” may really be communicating
- intervene sooner to prevent escalation
- use supports (including screens) without fear you’re “giving in”
- shift from fear and consequences to curiosity and compassion using a scientist mindset
Get The Defiance Decoder
Enter your email below and I’ll send the guide straight to your inbox.
When you sign up, you’ll also receive my weekly email newsletter, filled with compassionate nervous system reframes, evidence-based tools, practical parenting scripts, early-signal strategies, and behind-the-scenes insights from my upcoming book, The PDA Kid’s Solution.
A note from Stacey
Hi, I’m Stacey Curnow – an AuDHDer, licensed family therapist, founder of Asheville Family Counseling, and author of the upcoming The PDA Kid’s Solution: A Compassionate Guide to Parenting Kids with Concerning Behaviors (New Harbinger, Fall 2027).
I help parents move from power struggles to partnership by understanding what’s actually getting in the way for their child. This guide is one small way to help you start catching the whisper before the shout.
When you sign up, you’ll also receive my weekly email newsletter, filled with compassionate nervous system reframes, evidence-based tools, practical parenting scripts, early-signal strategies, and behind-the-scenes insights from my upcoming book, The PDA Kid’s Solution.
Why this works
When we recognize the early signs of nervous system distress, we can:
- reduce conflict
- support safety
- build trust
- prevent unsafe moments
- teach long-term flexibility and frustration tolerance
That’s the heart of this work.
Catch it earlier. Support sooner. Everything changes.
Stacey Curnow, LCMHC
Founder of Asheville Family Counseling
Coming soon!
This guide is part of the larger framework in my upcoming book:
The PDA Kid’s Solution: A Compassionate Guide to Parenting Kids with Concerning Behaviors (Fall 2027 from New Harbinger)