I’ve noticed that when we try to adopt a new positive habit, it’s a lot like setting sail. We hope for smooth sailing, but that’s not how the ocean works. There’s always another wave or obstacle to navigate. Our goal isn’t to avoid the waves but to learn how to work with them.
When something disrupts our new habit, it can feel like a setback, sending your thoughts into a spiral and resulting in uncomfortable emotions like frustration or disappointment. These feelings are normal and can make us want to give up. However, setbacks offer us an opportunity to learn about ourselves and how we approach achieving our goals. From there, we can figure out the best ways to keep moving forward.
It’s helpful to think of a setback like a slingshot. Sometimes we’re pulled backward so that we can be propelled forward. Goals work the same way; little victories and setbacks work together to get you where you want to be.
Strategies for Moving Forward
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Start by offering yourself self-compassion. This means acknowledging and validating what you’re feeling. If this is new to you, it might feel different at first, but give it a try. When you experience an uncomfortable emotion, you might say to yourself, “In this moment, this is hard, and this emotion is uncomfortable.” Next, remind yourself that discomfort is temporary and part of the process of moving forward. Then take three deep breaths to help bring you into the present moment.
2. Affirm Your Strength
Repeat words like, “I can handle this,” or “I’m learning to handle this,” because you can, and you’re developing ways to work with these emotions. Keep reminding yourself as often as you need to.
3. Visualize Success
When you catch yourself putting off a task, take a moment to imagine how you’ll feel once it’s done and the relief it will bring. Once you’re feeling better, reflect and ask, “Is there anything I can learn from what happened or how I handled it?” There’s always going to be another wave or obstacle to navigate. You can’t avoid them, but with tools of compassion, curiosity, and determination, you can steer toward your destination with more ease and confidence.
Embracing the Ocean of Your Mind
It’s helpful to pay attention to your thoughts during these times. Imagine stepping back and watching your thoughts like waves in the ocean of your mind. This concept can be incredibly helpful in offering a way to create some distance from the constant chatter of our thoughts.
On some days, the waves might be nothing more than gentle ripples on the surface. On other days, they might be enormous, crashing waves that command our attention. Despite their varying appearances and behaviors, these waves are not separate from the ocean. They are part of the same body of water, merely expressing different qualities at different times.
Similarly, our thoughts can seem pleasant or unpleasant, calm or tumultuous. Yet, they are all manifestations of the same mind. Just as the ocean and its waves are one, our mind and its thoughts are not separate entities. There isn’t one part of our mind that thinks and another that watches those thoughts. There are simply different qualities and expressions of the same unified mind.
Understanding this unity can transform our relationship with our thoughts and the behaviors that arise from them. Instead of striving to separate the observer from the observed, we can embrace the fluidity and interconnectedness of our mental experiences. Recognizing that there is ultimately only one mind, we can cultivate a more holistic and accepting approach to our thoughts, whether they are serene or stormy.
Taking Action in Alignment with Your Dreams
As we deepen our relationship with our mind and, by extension, our thoughts and behaviors, we learn to see our thoughts as transient waves within the vast ocean of our consciousness. This perspective can help us develop a greater sense of peace and equanimity, allowing us to navigate the ever-changing landscape of our mind with grace and understanding.
By embracing this approach, we can take action that is truly in alignment with our hopes and dreams. We can move forward with confidence, knowing that every wave, whether gentle or crashing, is part of our journey. We can learn to surf the waves of life, using each experience to propel us closer to our goals.
Here’s to learning to ride the waves!
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